FROM the moment we step towards the entrance archway, cocooned with a thick twist of foliage, it is clear the Crazy Bear was not modelled on minimalism.
Two lifesize wooden bears stand next to a stationary London bus, which has diverted from the capital to double as a quirky bar.
The front garden is a lush paradise of palm trees and water fountains, trickling peacefully as customers clink their china.
It seems a waste to sit inside with the sun shining, but we are seated next to an open window that provides a welcome breeze.
The hotel has a Thai restaurant and an English restaurant, both opulently decorated.
Tom and I sit in the latter, which combines rich red furnishings with leopard-print carpet, plush cushioned walls and a ceiling covered with gravity-defying wine bottles.
I must admit that we cheated our way into these luxurious surroundings, having invested in a voucher that slashes our seven-course 'signature lunch' from £62.50 each to £29.50.
A waiter presents us with glasses of champagne and invites us to choose between the main or vegetarian set menu.
We both opt for the former, which begins with a dinky teacup of fish soup.
The flavour is deliciously delicate, with juicy pieces of prawn and crayfish contrasting with the crunch of croutons.
Next is miniature eggs Benedict, with crisp asparagus and Prosciutto plus a perfectly-poached yolk.
Two slivers of melt-in-the-mouth beef Carpaccio follow, complemented with onion chutney and a crisp beef croquette.
A vodka and orange sorbet offers a refreshing palette cleanser before our main: tender pieces of lamb with a punchy lamb meatball, dotted with mint pea puree.
The potatoes are incredible but I am not keen on the overpowering smoky sauce.
A dessert of ginger and rhubarb parfait offers an odd frozen texture, but tastes pleasant enough when paired with pistachio crumb and apple compote.
Our final course is Oxford blue cheese with an oat biscuit, delightfully decorated with tiny cubes of apple, walnut and grape.
Though some catered less to my personal preferences than others, I enjoyed the imaginative mix of dishes we got from the set lunch.
The high-quality ingredients, intriguing setting and professional staff are inviting incentives to return.
Crazy Bear, Bear Lane, Stadhampton, 01865 890714.
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